One Year, No Fear

170.6 lbs.  (post-cruise damage, new year starting point)

"One Year, No Fear" is what will be printed on my bib for the Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon.  It commemorates the first anniversary of the healthy weight loss adventure that I began exactly one year ago today.  Here is what I wrote that day.

I'd like to talk about a couple of things in this post.  First, I'll give a little update on the cruise that I just returned from last night.  Finally, I'll talk about my new weight and fitness goals and strategies.  I must keep moving forward because I have plenty of experiences to remind me of how much more fun it is to live in a healthier body.  It is worth working for.

The Cruise

We just returned from a beautiful seven night Caribbean cruise with my brother and his family.  It was a very active and adventurous trip and we created some special family memories together.  Here are the highlights:

• I kept up with my training runs and clocked in almost 25 miles over the 7 day cruise (ran 5 of the 7 days).  I was able to use my fitbit to track the distance, but I missed my usual phone apps due to the lack of phone service.  Oh well.  
• On New Year's Eve I did a long run, 7 miles, and by the stroke of midnight, ended 2014 with over 28,000 steps on my fitbit from all the running, walking and dancing :-)  It was an awesome way to end 2014!  
• I was able to stick with my eating program of protein, vegetables and fruit for two of the three meals per day, but when dinner rolled around, I enjoyed a few sugary cocktails or glasses of wine, as well as bread and dessert every night.  I could have made better choices, but I had planned for this.  My water intake was pretty low most days, too, though I brought my water bottle and tried to keep it filled up and nearby most of the time.
• Tried and succeeded at stand up paddle boarding!!!  I don't have that picture yet, but I'll post it some day when my brother sends it.  It was so much fun, and ticks a box on my bucket list.  Awesome!
• Tubed a winding river and hiked to and through water falls.  I even jumped off a cliff into a deep pool of spring water!  I wore a bathing suit in public the whole time, and while I felt a little self-conscious, I knew it was okay.
• Enjoyed swimming and snorkeling for two of the days and saw some amazing coral and fish.  It was the best snorkeling of my life.  I took my younger son snorkeling for his first time, and will never forget his reaction to swimming with schools of beautiful, colorful fish.  Priceless.
• Walked all over the place and danced the night away on New Year's Eve with my family and was able to keep up with the group without a problem.  
• Fit into airline seats, shuttle seats, deck chairs, trolley cars, inner tubes.  I was able to lay down in the sand, and get back up again without help.  These are some of the sensitive issues that I faced in the past.

There are many, many choices that I could have made differently, but I planned to splurge and my weight reflects it.  I enjoyed the family time with my brother and his family.  We played lots of games together, and of course, went on lots of adventures.  I really enjoyed myself on this trip, now that I'm in better shape!

Watching the sunrise during my morning runs on deck.

My Weight and Fitness Goals for the New Year

Weight Goals:  The beginning of this year I will focus my attention on getting my weight back down to a healthier level.  I am well above where I want to be, and I can feel how the extra weight is making my knees more sore after running, and my pants a little tighter.  I'm going to do a mixture of meal/snack replacements (Optifast, protein smoothies) and soup/"lean and green" meals.  While away on the cruise, I was not able to continue my almost one-year MyFitnessPal logging streak, so that begins again, and I look forward to starting over.  I will look back on some of my earlier menus and calorie levels and try and get back to losing 1-2 pounds per week until I reach my new weight goal, which is 148 lbs.  This will get me into the healthy BMI range and will give me some wiggle room for a healthy weight maintenance range.  In the past, when I have set a time frame on weight loss, I have sabotaged myself.  For now, I'm going to give myself this year to reach my weight goal, and really look at it as a process of learning how to balance times of excess eating with the majority of time eating leaner and healthier snacks and meals.  My goal is to establish a pattern of balance with regard to eating (tracking my food) and get down to 148 lbs.

Fitness Goals:  In a couple of weeks I'm going to run/walk my first half marathon, the PF Chang's Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon in Phoenix.   For this first race, my goal is to finish in 3:30.  They start sweeping up the stragglers at 4 hours, so I really, really just want to finish!  Up to this point though, I haven't been very structured about training schedules or fitness classes.  I am going to shift my focus to building more muscle and running farther and faster.  My gym offers a strength class two days per week, and so I'm going to make a firm date with myself and start attending both sessions.  I'm also going to re-start the C25K app and run three 5K races this year without walking - I'll be looking at some upcoming races to sign up for.  Some of my Optifast Maintainer friends on Facebook have invited me to join them on a team to run 2015 miles in 2015.  I still need to get the details on this, but I'm all-in!  My fitness goal is to develop a structure to my workouts and running training.

That's where it all stands right now.  No Fear.  More details on all of this to come.  If you are new to Optifast and have stumbled upon my blog, please feel free to make comments or ask questions.  I'm happy to help support you! Happy New Year everyone!

Post-Vacation Run-Down and New Maintenance Class

154 lbs.

It feels like ages since I wrote a blogpost, but I've packed a lot of living into the past week!  We just returned from a 5 day vacation back east to New York and Connecticut.  It was fantastic, just my husband and myself without kiddos.  It was in part to celebrate my husband's 50th birthday, which is this weekend, and so we spent a couple of days in New York City walking around and visiting a couple of places that we have never seen before, which was wonderful.  Let me give you a little travelogue, but then I want to touch on my diet and exercise experience.

Our first stop was a visit to the Freedom Tower.  We lived in the area during 9/11 so it was an emotional time that is etched in our memories.  We visited the beautiful and poignant 9/11 Memorial Museum.  I've lived through natural disasters as well as this act of terrorism, and what has shined through very clearly and loudly is the abundance of goodness and kindness that such tragedies bring out in people.  The museum is highly focused on the humanity of the victims as well as the whole world who came to the aid of NYC and the United States at that time.  It's a must-see if ever you visit New York City.

Freedom Tower in New York City

We took in a show by buying last minute deep discount tickets at the TKTS booth.  We saw Newsical the Musical -- a very tiny and entertaining show off Broadway.

On Wednesday night, we took in Amateur Night at the Apollo Theatre - an amazing historic theatre in Harlem - where many R&B artists got their start.  I don't know which came first, Amateur Night or the Gong Show, but both are somewhat similar.  It is a talent show where the audience gets to decide who stays and who goes.  You can "boo" people off the stage.  It only happened once, and I think the guy was a plant.  You also get to pick the winner for the evening who then goes on to another round for a big cash prize.  But really, you'll be up cheering, dancing and laughing throughout this show :-) Loved it!

Apollo Theatre

View from our hotel room!

 I walked my butt off in New York, even though I developed a terrible cold on the first day.  Eating wise, I tried my best to stick to mostly protein, fruits and veggies, though I had a few slices of amazing fresh Italian bread at a restaurant in Little Italy.  They were small slices, but since my eating strategy allowed for special treats, I ate them without any guilt, and enjoyed them dipped in a seasoned olive oil.  I found it easy to eat eggs for breakfast and that meal kept me satisfied.  We snacked on fruit and nuts and lunched on meat dishes.  All in all, I was able to stick to my plan, and indulge in only a half of a dark chocolate bar as a sweet treat, and a glass or two of wine along the way.

After leaving New York, we headed north to Connecticut for my husbands 20th graduate school reunion.  The Fall foliage was perfect!!!  We went on a lovely hike and picked apples.

I miss the Fall!!  Living in Southern California, we don't get to experience the changing of the seasons, so this was such a special treat for me!

As the Connecticut part of our trip was more social, I did find myself at the mercy of what was being served the the various events I attended.  I was able to find good protein choices, and then just gave myself literally "tastes" of some of the special dishes that were served.  I drank wine when it was served, and even had a couple of pieces of some special desserts.  To balance this, I woke up early and walked every morning.  The hotel had a gym, but this was Fall in New England!  I wasn't going to miss the chance to take it all in and exercise outside.

This trip taught me to maximize the choices that I CAN make, and then enjoy some treats if they are special enough to count the calories.  I kept a record of my eating on MyFitnessPal, and logged my exercise, just like at home.  It was easy to do this on my phone, and it kept me aware of my weight loss and health journey.  I could make conscious choices this way.  But I have to say that wearing cute clothes and receiving kind remarks from friends were the best incentive to stay focused on my health and seek balance.  I won't lie to you, it was a scary feeling to be in a position to eat things that wouldn't normally be my first and best diet food choices.  Circumstances weren't always perfect and I just had to accept that and do my best to keep moving and burning calories.

I didn't view exercise as a chore, though.  It was highly enjoyable and on one level reinforced my new identity as a healthy, fit person.  I can't tell you what a cool feeling that was for me.

Starting Maintenance Class

Yesterday I started my Maintenance Class at the Positive Choices Clinic.  I weighed in (had only gained a pound from the trip) and then entered another room of people who were (mostly) at the point of maintaining weight.  I didn't know what to expect from this class, but it really is off to a promising start, and I think it will be very interesting and helpful.

We will cover lots of ground about nutrition and exercise (more encouragement to do strength training).  I have to admit that I was relieved to see that my instructor has a view of nutrition that seems to be very much based on the latest research, and not just a dust-off of the food pyramid.  He stressed food-combining, which is something I haven't really been exposed to.  This involves paring foods during meals and snacks so that the insulin spikes can be optimized/minimized.  He wants us to shoot for eating 20g of protein at breakfast, and to pair up any carbohydrate food with either a protein or fat, so that the insulin spike is minimized.  It was great to hear from him that dietary fat isn't the enemy, and even causes the release of hormones in the body to signal "fullness".

In his opinion, the consumption of too many simple carbohydrates is what makes most people overweight.  I have to agree that this was the case with me, and it is this concept that is forming my new eating strategy.  We learned that when blood sugar crashes, our body secretes hormones that make us ravenous, food-seeking robots.  We are created to seek and find the most high calorie food to feed our bodies immediately and quickly.  I've felt this way before :-) and polished off many cookies and boxes of cereal during my crash moments.

According to our instructor, we are going to learn how to become "fat burning machines" by:

• Eating enough calories (1200-1500 cals minimum for women, 1500-1700 cals for men).  Our low calorie days are over and we want to fuel our bodies for maximum performance.  No starvation mode.
• Eat more frequently.  Every three or four hours to avoid low blood sugar and the evil "hungries"  This also maximizes the functioning of our metabolism.
• Burn calories through cardio exercise.  It teaches our body how to burn fat as fuel and regulates blood sugar levels.
• Build more muscle.  It builds lean body mass which maximizes daily calorie burn.

Sorry for such a long post.  I am excited about this next phase in my health education, and I'll post more later as I live my life in maintenance.

More Happenings and A Special Trip

There are a couple of new fitness adventures I've taken part in, or will take part in soon. I feel like they are helping me build a new identity as a fit person.

First, I finally attended a strength training fitness class at the Y on Monday. Oh my goodness!  I became acquainted with muscles I've never met before, and they introduced themselves by quivering uncontrollably and hurting like heck.  I felt sore from head to toe, and for at least 2 days, I had a hard time lifting my arms or holding a phone.  I thought I was pretty strong, but boy was I wrong.  I went to the second class today, and while I'm still sore, it isn't as much of a shock to my system as Monday's class was.  Yay for progress!  I think I will easily be able to see improvement, since I'm pretty much starting from rock bottom.

I also signed up the for the Color Run taking place this Saturday in San Diego.  The Color Run aka "The happiest race on earth" is a 5K where they shower you with colored powder at various stations during the race.  Tutus and zany outfits are the norm there.  It was a last minute decision after a friend was looking to transfer two registrations when they needed to back out.  So even though I'm not ready to run the whole 5K, my younger son and I will walk it and just soak up the fun.  He's so excited, and informed me that he would be "totally up for any of the messy races" (like the color run, mud run, etc.)  Gotta love boys!  I'm stocking up on wet wipes and will bring extra clothes, towels and covers for the seats of the car.  What ev', life is for experiences, right?

In addition to the fitness stuff, I'm preparing for an awesome trip back East.  Next Tuesday my husband and I are leaving for a five night trip to New York City and Connecticut.  It is the first time we've been away, without the kids, in a number of years so I'm really, really excited!  As anyone with kids in school can imagine, I'm frantically preparing the house for my husband's sister, who will be staying with the kids while we're gone.  I've got cleaning to do, and need to write down the "where and when" of the kids' daily life.

I've also been doing some shopping for the trip, which is such a wonderful reward for losing the weight.  Never in my life have I enjoyed shopping, until this time.  I've had awesome luck at both thrift stores and regular stores.  Here are a couple of my new outfits:

I'm not naked under the coat, I'm wearing a skirt :-)  Love the sassy short boots!

Super excited that I found this dress and blazer at a thrift store!

It is probably good that I don't have unlimited resources for shopping, but having been obese for at least the last 20 years, and I can honestly say that I'm not in the market for boring clothes anymore!  I'm enjoying making an effort to dress at least a little more stylishly :-)

The first two days of our trip will be in New York City, and it will be for pure fun.  My husband is turning 50 in a couple of weeks, so this is a celebration.  We'll do lots of walking and sight seeing, and attend a couple of shows.  I should log a good number of steps on the Fitbit.

Then we head to Connecticut for his 20 year graduate school reunion.  I'll be attending more dinners and happy hours, so I'll need to dress up a bit more.  I'm really looking forward to seeing old friends and enjoying the beautiful New England Fall scenery.  We lived there for 10 years, so it will be such a wonderful time visiting some of my old favorite places and neighborhoods. We'll do a bunch of hiking, too, which will balance out the eating and drinking.  I can't wait!

This will be my first big trip where I'm completely off of Optifast products.  It will be tricky.  Recently, I have noticed myself eating more calories and have added a couple of pounds.  I'm not at the scream weight, but I'm trying to be mindful of balancing some lower calorie days with the higher calorie days. My activity has been increasing steadily, but I know that, much to my chagrin, it takes both a healthy diet and exercise to maintain a healthy life.  I just keep reminding myself to seek balance and take joy in it, since a healthy life is so much more fun.

My recent shopping excursions have further increased my motivation to keep my weight in check!  It is a hoot to be able to look at something, try it on, and have a reasonably good chance that it will look decent on me.  I might ding it for price or color or cut, but it will FIT.  That is a great feeling!

I will probably not be able to write my blog next week, but when I get back, I'll be sure to check in.

P.S.:  Some of you haven't been able to see the pictures on my blog.  I did something different this time, so if you don't see them (or if you notice them up for the first time), would you mind letting me know?  Thanks!

Week 28 Weigh-In: Enjoying the Non-Scale Victories and New Self Confidence

172 lbs.

I am happy to report that 85 fewer pounds makes a huge difference in my life, and especially in my ability to enjoy outdoor activities.  The last time I visited Salt Lake City, UT to see my sister, I was really feeling the altitude, and I broke out in a sweat (even in the dead of winter) just walking around outside.  I don't have a typical sedentary family.  In fact, one of my sisters is very outdoorsy and athletic, and is always walking and moving around.  When I was overweight, it was uncomfortable or painful for me to exert myself to the level of everyone else, and as I reached my heaviest, I would flat-out have to pass on certain activities.  That was a painful memory and source of shame for me.

When I embarked on my weight loss program, part of my vision board contained the activity of hiking, because I have longed to hike with my family in the beautiful forest or in the desert.  This past weekend, my dream came true.  I didn't have any problems breathing in the altitude, and I had no trouble walking for miles (most days reaching my 10K steps before 9am!) without getting winded.  I was shocked and elated at how normal it all felt.  I just took it all in, as if I were in a dream.  The smell of the pine trees, the deliberate but confident steps down a slippery slope, and small steps going up a long hill.  The wildflowers were in full bloom, and the clouds in the sky were reflected in the beautiful lakes that we hiked to or around.

Below are some pictures of my adventures with my beautiful sisters (I'm on the far right):

Not the most flattering picture, but here I am carefully trying not to slip down the hill:

One of the biggest thrills was seeing this moose in the water!!

And here is the breathtaking mountain scenery!

So this is the post to remind me of how far I've come and how life-changing this experience has been.  All of the times I've said "no" to food have been worth it.

The scale didn't go down as much as I would have anticipated given the sharp increase in activity.  In fact, it was just an average weight-loss..  I did eat an extra shake on the days that we hiked or walked to an extreme.  I also had a soup with my family every night.  I knew I would need them!  When I got home, I was very motivated to keep moving and walking, since I had proven to myself that I could do it.  I am loving this new energy and physical fitness.  I treated myself to a new fitness toy and downloaded FitRadio.  I've been listening to the DJ mixes that keep me stepping to the beat and increasing my speed.  I'm channeling my inner 25 year old.

I hope you all are doing well on your programs, and taking some time to reflect on the small and large reminders of your progress.  It's nice to take a moment to enjoy the good things in life.

Edit:  Please give yourself a gift and take a second to read this beautiful post.  It's short, but will make your day and maybe help you on your way:  http://momastery.com/blog/2014/07/06/body-masterpiece/

Meeting Travel Challenges Successfully

I just returned from a 4 day trip to Kansas City to attend a family funeral.  I was nervous about the trip and tried my best to pack all the shake powder and soup I would need, as well as a blender bottle and a large empty water bottle.  I didn't know how I was going to get my shakes and waters in, and how I was going to explain myself to people.

The plane trip gave me some exciting NSV's (non-scale victories).  For the first time in many years, and LOTS of travel, I was able to feel comfortable in my airplane seat (achieving another Milestone!)  I didn't need a seat belt extender and actually had a little room between my hips and the arm rests.  This is a really big deal for me because I'm pear-shaped and all of the junk in my trunk was a source of embarrassment whenever I traveled.  On the last leg of the trip, I was packed in with two other travelers, and was saying a silent prayer of thanks that I didn't need to feel like a burden to the person sitting next to me.  My body parts were within my seat area.  What a relief and sense of satisfaction.  It's strange posting a picture, but I couldn't help snapping a discreet photo to mark the milestone.

The second very nice moment came when three of my siblings saw me for the first time.  They were flabbergasted!  And I have to admit that this was the first time that I could see my own progress - in my face, shape and clothes.  The appearance changes just weren't that noticeable to me before -- I have just enjoyed feeling healthier.  But seeing things through their eyes, I DO look so much leaner and healthier.

Now for the challenges.

The first evening, we were invited to dinner at a cousin's house.  I didn't know her very well, so this felt extremely stressful to me.  But when we arrived, I passed on wine and appetizers, and explained that I was on a medically prescribed diet and wouldn't be eating, just visiting.  She was super gracious and the rest of the evening went very smoothly.

After dinner, we were all sharing pictures of our families on our iphones  - through Apple TV.  They then got to see the heavier me, and I think this helped them to understand why I was on this journey. My discomfort about this part of my travels turned out to be short lived.  I learned that declining food didn't make the evening awkward (past the initial explanation), and everyone was just too busy catching up and getting reacquainted to notice that I wasn't eating.  I had to decline one other dinner when we went to a restaurant, but I ordered a bowl of hot water and made myself some chicken broth.  No problem.

Also for the trip, I packed some workout clothes because our hotel had a small gym.  My sister and I went down one morning, and I did 20 brisk minutes.  Later that day, I learned that another cousin taught a Restorative Yoga class, and she invited a bunch of family members to take the class.  I was worried.  This was my first time trying Yoga.  I can't tell you how special it was.  My cousin is a peaceful, gentle soul, and her calm supportive approach to the class made me feel perfectly capable.  I had been very reluctant to try Yoga due to my size and extreme inflexibility, but this type of Yoga is really wonderful, and I highly recommend it no matter what size you are.  This is the second time the I've tried something new (see Jumping for Valentines) and realized that I never needed to wait to be thinner to try these enjoyable activities.  I could have done them from the start.  So what else am I not doing that I can try right now?  I'll have to think about it.

Although the occasion of my visit was very sad and touching, being forced into this challenging situation taught me that I can get through this phase of my health quest, and that I do have the resolve to make it, and learn from it.