I've been thinking about how through this weight loss process, I have had to be more bold about challenging old assumptions of what I am capable of doing through my choices and through my physical activity. In this part of the program, the weight loss portion, I've had to stay committed to my eating plan and follow it precisely. It hasn't been easy, and it forced me to stand out from the crowd, which is something I was never comfortable doing, especially as an obese person. Not eating or drinking when everyone else is, was very challenging for me when I first began my Optifast program, but I stuck to my guns and followed through on my commitment.
Week after week my body changed very drastically and quickly. In subtle ways, life became less painful. I first noticed that my sciatica suddenly vanished, and that I wasn't as stiff when I got out of bed in the morning. I could bend over and balance on one foot. Then my Achilles tendinitis started fading away, and I noticed that I could walk farther and faster without pain. Each of those "feats" were a tiny secret delight. They helped me to stay committed.
Each of these milestones were a surprise to me. When I worried about pushing myself too hard while on the shakes, I would be surprised that I felt okay after walking or hiking for a long period of time. Over time, I'm starting to trust myself enough to push farther and faster when working out. Each of those challenges brings greater confidence.
I've been also thinking about this process in terms of the next phase of my program, when food will slowly be reintroduced. I will continue to feel concern about my capabilities to follow through and to develop a new, healthy way of eating. Fortunately I will still have the support of my clinic, and of my maintenance class. I'll continue to learn new things, and will examine food triggers in real time, as I live my life among the "eating". Even today, having not yet achieved my "goal", I do feel like I've achieved more confidence in my ability to make positive choices to support my healthy body. Just like when I started my program 7 months ago, I didn't know that I could lose weight, I'll need to prove to myself again that I am capable of maintaining a healthy weight. It will be completely new territory for me.
This is what was going through my mind today, and it's part of the learning process as I get to know my new self.
Week after week my body changed very drastically and quickly. In subtle ways, life became less painful. I first noticed that my sciatica suddenly vanished, and that I wasn't as stiff when I got out of bed in the morning. I could bend over and balance on one foot. Then my Achilles tendinitis started fading away, and I noticed that I could walk farther and faster without pain. Each of those "feats" were a tiny secret delight. They helped me to stay committed.
Each of these milestones were a surprise to me. When I worried about pushing myself too hard while on the shakes, I would be surprised that I felt okay after walking or hiking for a long period of time. Over time, I'm starting to trust myself enough to push farther and faster when working out. Each of those challenges brings greater confidence.
I've been also thinking about this process in terms of the next phase of my program, when food will slowly be reintroduced. I will continue to feel concern about my capabilities to follow through and to develop a new, healthy way of eating. Fortunately I will still have the support of my clinic, and of my maintenance class. I'll continue to learn new things, and will examine food triggers in real time, as I live my life among the "eating". Even today, having not yet achieved my "goal", I do feel like I've achieved more confidence in my ability to make positive choices to support my healthy body. Just like when I started my program 7 months ago, I didn't know that I could lose weight, I'll need to prove to myself again that I am capable of maintaining a healthy weight. It will be completely new territory for me.
This is what was going through my mind today, and it's part of the learning process as I get to know my new self.
3 comments:
You CAN do it! Stay on top of things - I think the biggest danger is letting things "slip" for too long. Nothing wrong with a few "bad" days here and there, the key is to get back to business quickly and do what you need to do. The good news is that after a couple of days of eating crap, eating healthier foods and exercise is something you will probably actually crave. The other good thing is that as you knock your weight back down to your goal over and over again, you'll gain the confidence that you can actually maintain your weight. It does get much less scary as time goes on and as you practice "success". You are doing awesome and your spirit is what will make all the difference. You actually FEEL what weight loss brings to you and you'll want to protect this feeling above all else.
Thank you Martha! I appreciate your thoughts and advice on this, and I know that you're right. Funny that even after returning from an active vacation, I start to get antsy if I don't get out and do some exercise every day, so I will count that as a very positive sign!
I'm excited for you Christy, truly. You are recognizing the concerns you have, but equally aware of all the support you have in place. Let's not forget your own personal resolve! You can and will do this.
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