Thursday, April 17, 2014

Week 16 Weigh-In: Facing Life Without a Food Crutch

202.5 lbs.

This week is filled with happy milestones as well as familiar challenges.  Starting with the happy, I have to take a moment to appreciate the feeling of accomplishment at achieving a weight loss that I never thought possible.  Nine months ago, I didn't posses any hope that I could ever lose weight, and I didn't think I had the will and strength to take on such a big task.  Something changed within me and it was the awareness that I was slowly killing myself with food, apathy and inactivity.  And with the inability to do the things that I enjoy in life, I just felt even more hopeless and sad.

When I met someone who had had the vertical sleeve weight loss surgery, I felt a spark that maybe there was hope for me.  I started doing research and after lots of discussion with my nurse practitioner at the Kaiser Positive Choices Clinic, I decided to try the Optifast program first.  It has turned out to be a very thought-provoking and deep experience for me so far.  Our classes are delving deeply into family issues and triggers that have led me to overeat in my life.  I'm thankful for this opportunity to explore my issues with food.

In the past I would have coped with stressful situations by running to the fridge for comfort, and opening a bottle of wine.  Now I'm doing it without food or drink, and I'm not seeing how any of those past behaviors helped me feel any better.  It only did my body in.  This time, I'm walking through challenges and making a decision to embrace my health and the hope of more joyful life experiences.

I'm not saying that I have found the right answer or way of dealing with stressful situations, but so far it feels right to me.  Most importantly the more that I say "no" to unhealthy food behaviors the more natural it will begin to feel (I hope).


Kathy said...

Congrats again on the fantastic weight loss! That's super exciting. I've never been that low, but I hope to one day. Creating boundaries is such a hard thing to do, but it sounds like you're doing well with that with your sibling. Family can be so difficult, driving any sane person to find an outlet (food). It's been great to see such wonderful things happening to you in these past several months.

happyinca said...

Thank you Kathy. I'm finally experiencing the joy of making good choices, even when other parts of my life get challenging. I have to say that it is a really, really nice thing to have that positive choice hanging around in the background.