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In this week's Optifast meeting we talked about stress, and examining the intersection of what we can and can't control, and how we feel when we either choose to take action or avoid action for each of those cases. When I think about those scenarios, I can identify two particular approaches to problems that have led to stress and overeating/binge eating in my life.
The first problem I've had is with being too passive/apathetic. In my 24 year marriage, my husband and I have faced some significant life challenges -- many cross-country moves, job changes, illness and death of parents, financial concerns, house burning down, challenges of raising kids. I think we have worked excellently together through those bumps, but sometimes I have felt like I compromised with my opinions and choices too easily -- I'm always trying to stay positive in the face of challenges. Although this is part of a normal, healthy relationship, and is to be expected, my own personal way of coping with my apathy or silence is to eat and stuff those feelings down. I'm not going to psychoanalyze myself in a blog, but I'm sure there are family and childhood issues that contribute to this. But as I have become more aware of doing this, I am going to try and push back a bit more and make my case, and I'm also going to allow myself to acknowledge my sadness, frustration, anger and fear. Even if we come to the same decision on a matter, or it doesn't go my way, I wonder if by going the extra mile to express my ideas and feelings it will make me feel less stressed and less inclined to use food to numb myself and my negative feelings.
The second problem/habit I have is procrastination/disorganization. Maybe this is in the same family as apathy, but the result is that I feel tremendous guilt and anxiety. I've been working hard on this and making some progress -- I'm taking control of my weight, I'm cleaning pockets of clutter in the house (including the garage last weekend!). So I'm a work in progress here, but it's something that I'm going to consciously work on.
It feels wonderful to be taking this time in my life to look at my weight problem very holistically - mind and body, and how they affect each other.
In this week's Optifast meeting we talked about stress, and examining the intersection of what we can and can't control, and how we feel when we either choose to take action or avoid action for each of those cases. When I think about those scenarios, I can identify two particular approaches to problems that have led to stress and overeating/binge eating in my life.
The first problem I've had is with being too passive/apathetic. In my 24 year marriage, my husband and I have faced some significant life challenges -- many cross-country moves, job changes, illness and death of parents, financial concerns, house burning down, challenges of raising kids. I think we have worked excellently together through those bumps, but sometimes I have felt like I compromised with my opinions and choices too easily -- I'm always trying to stay positive in the face of challenges. Although this is part of a normal, healthy relationship, and is to be expected, my own personal way of coping with my apathy or silence is to eat and stuff those feelings down. I'm not going to psychoanalyze myself in a blog, but I'm sure there are family and childhood issues that contribute to this. But as I have become more aware of doing this, I am going to try and push back a bit more and make my case, and I'm also going to allow myself to acknowledge my sadness, frustration, anger and fear. Even if we come to the same decision on a matter, or it doesn't go my way, I wonder if by going the extra mile to express my ideas and feelings it will make me feel less stressed and less inclined to use food to numb myself and my negative feelings.
The second problem/habit I have is procrastination/disorganization. Maybe this is in the same family as apathy, but the result is that I feel tremendous guilt and anxiety. I've been working hard on this and making some progress -- I'm taking control of my weight, I'm cleaning pockets of clutter in the house (including the garage last weekend!). So I'm a work in progress here, but it's something that I'm going to consciously work on.
It feels wonderful to be taking this time in my life to look at my weight problem very holistically - mind and body, and how they affect each other.
3 comments:
Sounds like a great discussion in your weekly group. Food has a way of making many situations feel easier to deal with somehow. I have found that to be the case for me - bad day at work, go find some food to eat to make myself feel better. Congrats on doing such a great job in your program!
Love reading your blog. I triggers memories of the optifast sessions from '93. Since I am doing it by amazon this time I find it good to reflect on the psychological isssues. APATHY yep got it! Disorganization too. Keep writing!
Thanks folks! I appreciate the encouragement. Best of luck to everyone on their own adventures.
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